Most of us, at one time or another, have made judgments like these about a co-worker: “He’s so overbearing,” “She doesn’t listen,” “He avoids conflict,” or “She wants to take all the glory.” Usually, these judgments occur because we have different communication preferences or because we have made assumptions about the other person’s motives.

Sometimes people really do behave badly. If we were honest with ourselves, we would have to admit that there were times when we were the ones behaving badly. We’re all human and we all make mistakes. The real problems with workplace relationships occur when:

1. There is no self-awareness of how our behavior is affecting others. That is everyone’s personal responsibility.
2. We are afraid to give (or receive) feedback, so the behaviors continue. There is joint responsibility here – personal and organizational.
3. Good interpersonal communication skills are not rewarded or acknowledged in the same way that technical skills are. This is the organization’s responsibility.

• 70% of small to mid-size businesses claim that ineffective communication is their primary problem.

Regardless of the origin of these judgment or the reasons for ongoing challenges with interpersonal dynamics in your company, it affects employees’ ability to work collaboratively together. And that affects the bottom line. When we hold these kinds of judgments about our coworkers, we are less likely to want to interact with them. Then, when we do have to interact with them, we will tend to go into the conversation assuming that the other person will behave badly. So, in this situation, we either avoid the person completely or get ready for a fight before the conversation has even started. It’s quite telling that 70% of small to mid-size businesses claim that ineffective communication is their primary problem (Source: SIS International Research).

Organizations need people to work cooperatively and collaboratively with one other. When they do, productivity is higher, innovation increases, and employees are much more likely to refer their talented friends and colleagues into the company. When there are a lot of, shall we say, “personality conflicts” that cause unhealthy defensiveness and lack of communication in an organization, these things suffer.

When even one employee has poor interpersonal skills, it can affect the entire team, department, or division. It can also definitely affect the bottom line. If you don’t believe me yet, see if any of these common scenarios have ever occurred in your company:

• One person keeps information from others after having the experience of a co-worker taking credit for their work. The information that is being withheld is needed by everyone in order for the team to be efficient. Time is then wasted because this conflict was never resolved.
• A manager is known for yelling at employees in front of others. No one addresses the situation. Team members are afraid to have an opinion, be creative, or bring a problem to the manager. Systems start to fail. All of this could have been avoided if the manager’s interpersonal behavior had been addressed.
• An employee continually blames others for their mistakes. This has caused so much strife on the team that no one wants to work with that employee. The employee’s behavior is never addressed, so the rest of team finds a workaround: to avoid working with the employee, they do his work for him. The result is a completely unproductive team member who is still earning a full-time salary.

As mentioned earlier, sometimes people don’t see how their behavior affects others. It might also be true that they just don’t know how to behave in a more positive manner. So what’s the cure?

1. Provide Awareness: First and foremost, don’t be afraid to give feedback if you notice an employee’s communication is not being received properly or that they are avoiding communicating with others on their team. The organization can (and should) create a feedback culture where leaders lead by example.
2. Mentor and Coach: In many cases, these situations occur because of a lack of experience or simply not having the necessary skills on one’s toolkit. Experienced supervisors and managers can provide guidance to young (or not so young) employees on what kinds of communication strategies will work in the situations they are facing.
3. Train: Create a culture where the company shows that it values good interpersonal communication. Provide a series of training programs where employees can practice new skills in between sessions and debrief how things went during the next class. This does not have to be expensive. A lunch and learn series, or a few half-day workshops over the course of a year, can do the trick.
4. Make Interpersonal Communication Part of Every Performance Feedback Conversation: During your regular one-on-one meetings with your employees, ask them about their successes involving influencing another person or collaborating on a team. Ask if they are running into any challenges and then offer your guidance and support.

• When even one employee has poor interpersonal skills, it can effect the entire team, department or division.

If employees understand that management cares about workplace relationships, and that the company notices when an employee is making an effort to improve interpersonal communication, they will be much more likely to put more time and effort into improving their interpersonal relationships. If it’s never brought up by their supervisor, they will assume it’s not important and will be much less likely to put in the time and effort.

Companies that make interpersonal dynamics a priority in their organizations reap the rewards. When your teams are more productive, it will promote a high level of “happiness” at work, you will retain your best and brightest, and your organization will gain a reputation of being a fantastic place to work. Doesn’t that sound like a great outcome?

Call us today to find out how we can help to improve interpersonal dynamics in your organization so that you can focus on moving your business forward.

Gail Finger is an executive coach and facilitator known for her ability to get communication unstuck. She has a proven track record of helping individuals to resolve conflict, getting teams functioning at the highest level, and helping leaders to be able to effectively coach and mentor others while making the hard decisions. Gail can be reached at gail@fingerconsulting.com or 415-815-8839.